Monday, March 19, 2012

I've posted one proper blog entry and I'm already getting bored.
What is it with me and commitment?
I just can't do it for some reason.
Nothing exciting or anything worth writing down for the public to see.
Not like anyone looks at this. 
This entry has already been sitting open for like two hours.
I have 7 lines of text. Wow.
I guess this is all that I'm gonna get around to tonight...

Monday, March 12, 2012

What is love? Really now, I’m serious.
Artists and Authors create wonderful things about the joys of love. How wonderful love will be to you, and how you’ll have the fairytale ending that you always dreamed of. There aren't very many pieces released about the sorrows and the absolute aching hurt of love, however. Companies and corporations just want us to buy into the commercial side of love. The candies and chocolates on Valentines Day and the big over stuffed teddy bears.
But that isn't love. That is money. It is deception. Love should be told as it is.
It; love, I mean, can bring wonderful things into your life. It can make you feel like you can do anything when someone loves you. But love can ruin you. That blasted emotion has completely ruined my life, and I'm not about to let it back in.
Love is something that requires trust and commitment and understanding. It requires full potential and attention from both parties. But love just hurts too much when you find out the truth; when you learn the truth of deception and secret hatred and non-existent emotions.
I can't do it. Not again. Not this time.
I won't fall into those sparkling blue eyes. I have to realize that love might never be true for someone like me. Maybe its just time I give up.
            Who knows, maybe eternal loneliness will find me after all. Maybe I'll just be alone forever and day dream all my life of what could have been.
That doesn't sound too bad.
But after all I’ve gone through…I just wish someone could really mean it. Why do I keep being cheated and lied to?

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I've never been good at keeping journals. Or blogs. Or anything really.
I'm always too busy. Just like how I'm too busy to put any effort towards writing my novel, or spending proper time taking care of myself, or dedicating properly to a relationship.
I'm horrible at committing.
But I try. I really do.
I want someone to love me, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
To look at me the way they do in the movies. But I guess that is a bit too much to hope for.
So, this will be the start of my new blog. The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly.
Lots of ooey gooey emotions. Bleh.

Stick with me through this or eff off. Whatever. But I have a feeling a blog will really help me.